Woody Allen

• Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
• My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty…
• I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
• My brain? It’s my second favorite organ.
• How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
• It’s not that I’m afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
• On bisexuality: It immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.